..rocky mountain raceway..

dear finn,

if i haven't told you already, your dad is quite the speed demon. anything that goes FAST, he loves. i sincerely hope you don't inherit that fascination, however i have a feeling that is a wish that won't come true. anyway, last night dad took us both to rocky mountain raceway for the first time to watch the fast cars go as fast as they possibly can.

now i have never been there before, so i had no idea how LOUD it gets. before the races started, i noticed most people had earplugs or earmuffs in/over their ears, so i suggested getting some for the three of us. and all i can say is thank goodness they sell them there, because i have a feeling you may have gone deaf had we not got something to cover your tiny little ears. and we got them just in the nick of time, too, because the first cars started racing right after we put your earmuffs on.

well as i said earlier, it gets extremely loud there. i don't understand cars very well, but apparently the faster a car goes, the louder it is, and when those first few cars raced we could feel them as they were passing by. i have never felt that sensation before, and it was a bit scary for me even...i can't imagine what it must have felt like in your tiny body, or how much it must have terrified you. your little bottom lip began to quiver, and it was obvious you were trying so hard to be brave, but you eventually gave in to the fear and started crying. it was one of the saddest things i have ever witnessed, and immediately i began to feel like the most awful mother who has ever walked the planet. for the next half hour or so those loud cars raced and you cried and cried. i held you in my arms and tried my best to calm you down and let you know i was there for you. i would have done anything to take away the pain and fear you were undoubtedly experiencing. oh baby finn, it was one of the worst nights ever (for me).

after a half hour or so you calmed down. i think you got used to the loudness, and i also think the cars that were racing got quieter and quieter (because they were slower than the first group of cars). i get sick to my stomach when i think about what would have happened if we hadn't bought those earmuffs for you...you may have been scarred, physically, and mentally, for life. i love you more than life itself mr. finn, and i am so thankful you can still hear (i hope you can anyway).

i think it will be a few years (at least!) before we take you back to rocky mountain raceway.

love,
mom