..iao mountain..

dear finn,

one of the things that dad really wanted to do while we were in maui was go on some hikes. we meant to buy a hiking backpack that we could carry you in, but we never got around to buying one before we left, and unfortunately we couldn't find one in maui, which meant we had to carry you. sadly for dad, we weren't able to go on as many hikes (or as long of hikes!) as he would have liked. and let's be honest, i'm fat, pregnant and out of shape so his hiking dreams just weren't meant to be this time around. maybe next time!

we did do one hike (a very short one, mind you!) that was extremely beautiful and totally worth it. it was just in the iao state park, and you just hike up a few sets of stairs to view some beautiful mountain peaks. we really loved walking around up there, because it reminded us of what we think of when we think "hawaii" - rainforesty, lush greenery. see, we were a little surprised when we first got to maui at how brown and "ungreen" it was. we have only been to oahu and kauai, and both of those islands are extremely green, especially kauai. needless to say, we were a bit disappointed that the part of maui that we were staying in wasn't as beautiful as we had expected it to be. don't get me wrong, it is still a beautiful place, i guess the mountains just weren't as pretty.

anyway, the hike we did was very lush and beautiful, and i am glad we did it. next time we go to hawaii, we'll have to remember to bring the proper equipment so that we can go for longer hikes. :)

love,
mom

..paradise..

dear finn,

one of the reasons i love vacationing in hawaii is because the atmosphere is just so relaxed. it just seems that no one has a care in the world, and that attitude becomes extremely contagious. every morning we woke up and just took it easy - ate breakfast, lounged for a bit. we usually headed down to the pool around 8:30 or 9:00, and spent plenty of time swimming in the different pools at our hotel, or playing on the beach. it was so relaxing and fun! i didn't think i would get much "laying out" time in, since you are such a busy body and all, but with the help of dad and grandma i got plenty! not to mention, you took your naps poolside every day, giving us all some much needed r&r.....it was magnificent, so THANK YOU! :)

besides playing at the pool and beach, we also spent some time walking up and down 'front street' in downtown lahaina. it is this cute street right on the ocean, lined with different shops and restaurants. dad and i were on the hunt to find some sunglasses, so one day we spent a good couple hours looking for the perfect pair. another night we went down and ate dinner at bubba gump's shrimp co. we were seated just in time to see the sun set, it was beautiful!

dad went on a couple different scuba diving adventures while we were there. it was extremely windy while we were there, which meant huge waves, so dad didn't get to go to some of the cool spots that he wanted to (like the molokini crater). i was bummed for him, but he still had fun doing the dives he did. he bought a "go pro" camera and took it under water with him! pretty cool to see what life looks like under the sea! maybe you'll get to experience it for yourself one day. :)

even though it seems like we didn't do a lot while we were there, it was still so much fun. exactly the kind of vacation i needed. since you are so little, and since i am pregnant, there isn't much for us to do anyway! i am just grateful for the opportunity we had to get outta town and enjoy relaxing on a beautiful island.

love,
mom

..the beach..

dear finn,

obviously one of the things we were most excited about doing in hawaii was going to the beach! since we don't live close to one, it is always a must to spend some time with your toes in the sand, watching the waves crash against the shore, and beaches don't come much prettier than the ones in hawaii. we had some time to kill before checking into our hotel the day we flew in to maui, so we though what better thing to do than head to a beach?! :)

the weather wasn't great that day, and we were all in our sweats/pajamas (not ideal beach wear) but it was fine. i think dad and i were mostly just excited to see what your reaction would be since you've never been to the beach before. at first you were a little apprehensive. you probably couldn't figure out what the tiny grains of rock sticking to your toes were! but you totally warmed up to it after a while. you and grandma spent some time digging the sand up. at one point, you stuck a big handful of sand into your mouth! haha yuck. i think you quickly learned your lesson though.

you had fun dipping your toes in the ocean as dad held tight to your hands. i must say, the ocean scares me a bit, especially when you get near it. you love water so much, so i figured you'd love it. just like the sand, you were a bit apprehensive, but after a while you couldn't get enough of it!

we spent a little bit of time at the beach every day...it was paradise! i am so happy that you were able to experience it. even though you won't remember, you'll have some priceless pictures and we'll always have the memories to share with you when you're older. :)

love you baby finn.

love,
mom

..hawaii..

dear finn,

this past week we were lucky enough to go on the trip of a lifetime, to the beautiful hawaiian island of maui! this was, in my mind, our first real family vacation, and everything turned out wonderful.

dad and i have been talking about going on a trip for a few months. we try and go on a real nice vacation once a year, but last year you were so young and the timing was just not right. but this year, with your little brother on the way, we decided we couldn't pass up a chance to go before he gets here. also, dad has been so extremely busy with work, and was in desperate need of a vacation. as soon as he gave me the go ahead, i started looking. i was debating between hawaii, mexico, or a cruise. we talked about it and even though everyone advised us to leave you at home with grandma (rude, i know!), i decided that i would have too hard of a time leaving you. besides, i wanted you to be able to experience something new. even though you are too young to remember any of it, i figured the pictures would be priceless and memories we could look back on for years to come. :) so after making that executive decision, i decided a cruise probably wouldn't be the best. i liked the idea of mexico, mostly because we always seem to go to hawaii, so at least mexico would be something different. however, since i'm pregnant, and it being a foreign country and all, i just didn't know if it would be the best. that left hawaii, which, even though we have been a lot of times, it is just paradise and i don't know how a vacation to hawaii could ever be bad. i had never been to maui before, and dad has only been once, but he got really sick and ended up in the hospital for most of his trip, so we figured it would be the perfect place.

i scouted out the best deals for a few weeks before booking a flight/hotel package. we found the perfect place for the perfect price, then all the sudden the rates went up! so, i kept looking, and found the most spectacular condominium resort. the rooms looked beautiful, the grounds looked beautiful, it was right on the beach. and without really looking at the price of it i fell in love. it was ranked one of the best places to stay when traveling with an infant to top it all off. i figured it was a long shot since it cost so much money, but i decided to ask dad if there was any way we could stay there. well, i must have caught him on an extremely good day, or maybe i am just that convincing, haha but somehow i worked some magic and he agreed to it! for days after we booked our trip i would get on the iPad and look at pictures of the hotel. it was seriously one of the nicest hotels i had ever seen, and made me that much more excited for our vacation. :)

one day dad and i were talking about our trip, and dad mentioned that it would be nice to have grandma cindy come! the room we booked was a suite with a pull-out couch, so she would be able to stay in our room with us. all she'd have to pay for was her airfare and some food, and i knew she would love spending time with you. plus, who wouldn't want to go to hawaii?! so one day i told uncle zac to ask grandpa jimbob if grandma could come, and sure enough he said yes! so he booked her a flight and it was set in stone...grandma was comin' with us! now i was even more excited, if that was even possible. :)

anyway, we were there from june 20th to june 26th, and it was an absolute blast! i don't regret for a second our decision to take you with us. even though the trip wasn't quite as relaxing as it would have been if we left you home, it was an amazing experience that i know i will look back on for the rest of our lives. :) we made some wonderful memories, and i thoroughly enjoyed experiencing hawaii through the eyes of my sweet baby boy. you make everything better little guy, and each day i fall more and more in love with you. crazy how that happens. anyway, more on the trip in another post!

love ya!
mom

..miss kennedy kay..

dear finn,

today is a very special day, you know why? because either your future wife, or your future sister-in-law was born! miss kennedy kay tawzer was born in portland, or around 1:30 in the afternoon. she was smaller than her big sis brooklyn was when she was born, and has a full head of dark brown hair! she is an absolute beauty! sadly we probably won't get to meet her for a while, so for now, pictures will have to do.

we are so grateful that miss kennedy and her momma are healthy and doing well. i can't wait for you and brooklyn and kennedy and sammy to be friends one day. :)

love ya finners!

love,
mom

..first trip to instacare..

dear finn,

for the past week you have had the world's WORST runny nose. seriously, it is disgusting! your nose is literally full of snot all.day.long. and you absolutely hate when we try and wipe your nose, which makes everything even more disgusting. anyhow, as gross as it has been, you have been your happy, cute self, so i wasn't too concerned about it. until today. this morning you woke up with a puffy, swollen eye, and you have been so fussy all day. i just figured you were having a bad day and probably didn't feel great, but i didn't think it was anything to worry about. well, this afternoon we went over to lucy's to jump on the tramp, and when jess saw you she said, "what's wrong with finn? he doesn't look like himself!" so, since we are leaving for hawaii super early wednesday morning, and since we have an extremely busy day tomorrow, jessica told me it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to take you to instacare, just to make sure you didn't have an ear infection or something that could potentially get worse on our trip.

there wasn't a long wait, which was perfect, and the dr.'s and nurses there were so nice. after examining you, the dr said there was nothing wrong with you, besides your run-of-the-mill cold. she said your swollen eye could be the beginning stages of pink eye, so she gave us a prescription for it, but that's it. i am glad we went, just for peace of mind. it's always better to be safe than sorry, right little guy? here's to hoping you feel better tomorrow and especially when we're on our vacay!

love,
mom

..father's day..

dear finn,

what a wonderful father's day today has been (for me at least!) and i know dad would say the same thing. just the opportunity to spend time together as a family is enough for him. :) we woke up this morning and made dad some breakfast, which you and him enjoyed together in bed. blueberry pancakes...mmm mmmm. then we went to church, came home and took it easy for a while (you napped). after you woke up we headed over to the mackie's house to say hi to grandpa jeff and great-grandpa powell, as well as everyone else there. they all thought you were so adorable, just like always. after visiting with them we went up milcreek canyon, where we were going to have a fire and roast hotdogs and 'mallows with the hansen side of the family. sadly, everywhere was completely full and we couldn't find a campspot, so instead everyone came back to our house where we grilled hot dogs and roasted 'mallows in our fire pit. wasn't the same as being in the canyon but it was still tons of fun and i'm glad it all worked out. :)

finn, i just want to tell you right now how lucky you are to have such a wonderful dad. he seriously adores you more than you'll ever know. you are the light in his life, and in just 14 short months you have changed his life completely. when i was pregnant with you, dad never seemed too attached to the idea of having a baby. of course he told me he was excited to meet you, and he was beyond thrilled that you were a boy, but beyond that i never could quite tell how he felt about the prospect of becoming a father. that all changed the second you came into this world. immediately this glow came over him, and i could tell just how head-over-heels in love he was with you, and he still is. :)

i know if he were writing this he would agree with everything i am saying. the highlight of every day for him is coming home to your cute little face, hearing you say, "dad" in your adorable little voice and playing with you. i also know he can't wait to do all sorts of things with you when you get bigger....boy stuff, like camping and hiking and four-wheeling and snowmobiling and shooting guns and the list goes on. :) you are everything he has dreamed for and i can't wait to see your bond grow stronger in the years to come.

it is obvious how much you adore your dada...it has been for quite some time and i must say, i love it. it is one of the most important relationships you'll ever have, and my heart smiles knowing how much you two adore one another. you sure are one lucky little fella, and i hope as you grow up you will always know that.

love you mister!

love,
mom

..fourteen months old..

dear finn,

today you are fourteen months old! we have a full-fledged toddler on our hands, who keeps us on our toes every minute of the day. this stage is SO MUCH FUN! i am seriously loving watching you grow and learn and turn from baby to boy. with every day that passes i fall in love with you more and more, and i often catch myself thinking, "i can't believe he is mine." :)

we have been loving the summer so far, you and i. we have spent time at the pool at the rec center, the splash pad in foxboro, chillin' in our backyard eating lunch and wandering around the yard all day long. life is pretty low key right now, which is just the way i like it. you are an extremely active little boy, who likes to be on your feet a majority of the time that you are awake each day. from the time you wake up from sleeping/naps it is go go go! you pretty much just like to wander around in circles. if we're in the backyard, you always have a golf club or the golf bag in your hand. if we're inside you usually find some other toy to carry around. i don't know if it is a comfort thing, but you always have to be holding something. :)

you are still obsessed with dad's toothbrush, and if ever you catch the bathroom door open, you book it upstairs and into the bathroom faster than i ever imagined you could go! you've really been getting into drawers and cupboards lately, which at first was annoying, but i've come to realize that once you get your way with something you get over it pretty quickly and move onto the next thing....so unless there are hazardous materials in the cupboards/drawers, i usually just let you play with it.

speaking of obsessions, you are still fascinated with the dogs' water/food bowls, but mostly the water bowl! it has become obvious over the past few months that you LOVE water, so i guess you just like splashing around in it like you do every other thing that has water in it. you started taking the pups food out of the bowl and just playing it, which really grinds duke's gears. he has become so extremely possessive of his food/water...to the point that he growls at even claus when he goes near it! sometimes you like to just do laps around the kitchen table, and duke will always stand close by and when you get close to the food/water, he will run over and growl at you! it is quite hilarious actually, but i do worry that one of these days he might nip you so i just have to keep a close eye on you two.

you love your brothers, so much, that is very apparent. you constantly walk up to claus for him to give you kisses, and you still love chasing duke around. duke has taken a bit of a turn for the worse when it comes to his relationship with you. i think it mostly has to do with you touching his food/water, but he is just so nippy and growls at you whenever you go near him. the other day he actually bit your hand, to the point where it must have hurt really bad because you started crying and shaking. :( it broke my heart to witness. i had to get mad at duke, obviously, and let him know that it's not okay to bite you, which was hard for me because i never like making any of my kids feel unloved. but your safety is my biggest priority, so i did what had to be done. hopefully he learned his lesson.

you sure are a silly little kid, and you love to play games, like peek-a-boo, patty cake and hide and seek. we started playing this new game just last week, where i chase you around the kitchen table...i guess we could call it 'tag,' and you LOVE it! you just get the biggest grin on your face and start giggling when i catch you. it's one of my favorite things to do with you. :)

at this age most babies do "so big" or "arms up," where when the parents say either of those two phrases the baby lifts their arms up. well, since you're a boy we put a spin on it and taught you how to do "touchdown!" whenever we say 'touchdown' you lift both arms straight in the air....then you just keep doing it over and over and over again. it's so funny and people seem to get the biggest kick out of it.

you also learned how to blow kisses this past month, which is one of my favorite things. it is so sweet, and always impresses other people who witness it. you really are such a sweet kid, and still love to give hugs and kisses, which makes me and dad and grandma cindy so happy. you still don't really know who your other grandparents are, and it makes me kinda sad. :( you start crying whenever any of them try to pick you up, but it's just because they don't spend enough time with you so obviously you don't know them. i feel so bad for you, but am hopeful that as you get older they will realize how important it is to spend time with you.

lately you have become quite the mimic, and will try and do anything we are doing. if someone is looking at you and nodding their head, you start nodding your head. if i look at you and shake my head (no, no, no) you shake your head too. when we turn the music on and start dancing, i can tell that you are trying to do the same dance moves i am doing! i love it. a few weeks ago i was rubbing lotion on my hands, and you started rubbing your hands together, like you were putting it on too. it's so cute! :)

your eating habits have been getting better lately, knock on wood. it is still kind of hit or miss, but lately you've been trying and actually eating lots more. a peanut butter and honey sandwich is still your staple, but this month you ate pizza (whole pieces!), peaches, strawberries, cherries, grapes (sometimes), watermelon - you LOVE watermelon. so lots of fruit, which is great! and of course, you still love ice cream and anything with sugar in it. :)

you got your molars this past month, much to my surprise! i thought you were just getting regular teeth, but one time we were up at grandma and grandpa hansen's, and vickie said, "he got his molars, huh?" and i was like, "really?" and she said, "yep, they're huge, can't you see them?" apparently i need to be a little more observant when it comes to your mouth! after that realization, it became obvious why you have been sleeping so bad the past little while, why your diapers have been so full of runny poop and why you have been more fussy than normal. i actually felt quite relieved after realizing all of this! your two bottom ones came in first, followed by the two top, which are still making their way down. i feel so bad for you when you are cutting teeth - especially molars - because i am sure it is just so painful. ;( but the good news is, the more you have, the less you have to get. i think i can see a light at the end of this painful teething tunnel!!!! hooray!

you still love your daddy tons, but you have also started to like me a lot too!! thanks finn. :) it sure makes me feel special when you reach your arms out for me to hold you. every now and then if i am sitting down, you'll walk over to me and just sit in my lap, it melts my heart. i'd still say you're more of a daddy's boy, but that i love, because i think it's so important for a son to have a great relationship with his father. he loves you so much, and any time you come to me, rather than him, i can see that it makes him a little sad. it's funny how we get so jealous of you. ;)

speaking of jealous, i just have to record this story for documentation purposes. a couple weeks ago locke came over to play while his mama ran some errands. well, he was quite sad when she left, and started crying, so i sat down on the ground, put him in my lap and started reading a story to him. it took you about two seconds to run from where you were, straight to me where you sat down in my lap, pretty much on top of locke! haha it was so funny to see you get jealous like that, but i'm not gonna lie, it made me kinda happy. :) then, a couple days later we were up at grandma and grandpa hansen's, and kelly was there with baby devyn. i wanted to hold baby devyn, mostly because i wanted to see what you would do. well, sure enough, you got jealous and tried to climb up into the chair with me! that jealousy only lasted a couple seconds before you were on to something else, but again, made me a little happy to know that you do love me. it will be interesting to see how things go when your little bro gets here!

another funny story that i need to write just for records sake......the other day i went into the bathroom downstairs to throw something in the toilet. well, when i lifted the lid up, much to my astonishment, i found the remote control to the sound system sitting there in the toilet bowl! haha lately you have become fascinated with the toilet (so gross, i know) and, kind of like with the toothbrush, whenever you see either of the bathroom doors open you book it in there to play with something you're not supposed to! silly {and somewhat naughty!!} little dude.

well mr finn, i love you so much. it's just amazing how i love you more and more every day. you are my whole world, and i don't know what i would do without you! i'm excited for this next month....next week we are going to hawaii! then it will be the fourth of july, which is one of my favorite holidays! and i think aunt tiff and uncle kev are comin' to town the beginning of july, so that will be tons of fun, too!! love you mister!

love,
mom

..a mother's worst nightmare..

dear finn,

i have debated whether or not i should even document this story. it was definitely one of the worst experiences of my life, and one that i'd just rather forget. but at the same time it helps put things into perspective for me, and helps me realize that there is someone watching over us, listening to and answering our prayers, for which i'll always be grateful.

today grandma cindy came over to play with us. i had told her how much fun you have at the splash pad in foxboro, and she wanted to witness it for herself. so we took you over there, but were only there for a few minutes because it became apparent that you were getting thirsty and hungry, and silly me forgot your water and food. so we left, went to mcdonald's to get some lunch, then headed home where we sat down on the patio to eat. you were wandering around the yard like you always do, coming over for a bite every now and then but mostly just roaming free. a few days ago you discovered the gate (over by the garage) so you've been playing over there ever since. well normally the gate is locked so i haven't worried too much about you being over there.

you had been over by the gate for a few minutes, and i started getting concerned because i couldn't hear or see you, so i walked over to check it out. panic swept over me when i saw that the gate was wide open, and you weren't in sight. in a panicked state i started calling your name, and to my utmost fear saw you standing in the middle of the road in front of our house. it was the most scared i have ever felt, seeing my helpless, innocent adorable little baby standing right there in the middle of the road, where cars drive entirely too fast and could have hit and killed you in an instant. of course i started balling, and did pretty much the rest of the day.

i said many prayers of thanks throughout the rest of the day, because i just know that heavenly father was watching over you. i'm so thankful for the prompting i had to go check on you, as well. i also said many prayers asking for peace and calmness, and to help me not dwell on the situation. as grandma cindy said, it was a good learning experience and helped me realize that even though our backyard is a safe place for you, i still need to be there checking on you, especially when you leave my line of sight. the situation could have been so much worse, and i am obviously beyond grateful that nothing happened to you.

you were such an easy baby, and so far, you have been such an easy toddler, but i will shamefully admit there are times when i think to myself, "another poopy diaper?" or when you wake up crying in the middle of the night (most likely because you are in pain due to teething, or cold, or just want to be snuggled) and i think, "what now?" i love you more than anything in the world, but i'd be lying if i said these thoughts never came to me. anyway, my point is, that this experience put things into perspective for me, because not a day goes by that i'd wish away your poopy diapers, or painful cries, or fussy moods if it meant you weren't here on this earth with me. i honestly don't think i could live in this world without you baby finn. you mean everything to me. everything, and i'm so thankful to our heavenly father for his tender mercies, and for watching over and protecting us, especially in our times of need.

i know that part of being parents means having to deal with scary instances, such as these, but i hope and pray that i will do my best to make sure that nothing happens because of my negligence or laziness. i have to remember that i can't place too much confidence in you....after all, you are only one year old and, for the most part, have no idea what is right or wrong, or scary or dangerous. you are just an innocent little dude, figuring the world out, and i promise i will do what i can to make your world as safe as it can be for you.

i love you more than you'll ever know sweet boy. you are my everything, and i hope you never forget that. :)

love,
mom