dear baby finn,
my dear sweet boy, i don't even know how to begin this post. i am still so traumatized by what happened to you, that i don't know if i'll be able to coherently write about the experience. truth be told, i'd rather just forget about it forever, however i know that down the road we'll want an account of what happened. so here we go.........
today was a day like any other. we were still in our pajamas, un-showered, teeth un-brushed (at noon, mind you! hey, don't judge haha), just hanging out in the backyard. i was sitting at the table, you were riding your 4-wheeler. i will shamefully admit that i had this fleeting thought, "it would be terrible if he rode over the curb," but you had ridden your 4-wheeler so many times before and never really gone near the curb that i didn't think too much more about it. two seconds later (literally) over the curb you went, over your 4-wheeler, face-planting into the red lantern i had sitting by the door. it's probably hard to imagine unless you are familiar with our back patio. anyway, my heart immediately sank as i jumped up to help you. crying worse than i'd ever heard you with blood gushing out of your mouth, it was probably one of the worst images of you i've ever had, and of course it is now burned into my brain.
i picked you up, and something instantly fell out of your mouth - your tooth. a molar, no less, root and all. this explained the bleeding. luckily your head seemed to be okay, but you were crying so loud and hard (obviously, i mean, your tooth just came all the way out) that i didn't know what to do. so i called dad, but i was such a hysterical mess that he couldn't understand anything i was saying! so i tried as hard as i could to take a deep breath and calm down. i told him what happened and he said, "well take him to the hospital!" so frantically i gathered up your tooth and headed out the door, still balling my eyes out. as luck would have it, one of my tires was flat, and dad had instructed me earlier not to drive it anywhere, but this seemed like it was an exception. so i buckled you into your carseat and headed out the driveway. just as i was about to pull away, jessica came running out her back door and asked if i wanted her to drive us. so she jumped in the drivers seat and suggested we go to instacare. i am so grateful she came to the rescue, because she definitely helped calm me down.
you calmed down, too, on the way there. your mouth stopped bleeding so profusely, and you pretty much stopped crying. the wait time at instacare was considerably less than the last time we went, although i felt our visit was a little pointless because the doctor didn't say much. he checked all your vitals and ruled out concussion/head trauma, so i guess for that reason alone it was worth it to go. but he didn't know much about what would happen with your tooth/mouth, and just recommended we take you to a dentist.
as we were checking out of instacare (paying, and such), i asked you what a werewolf says, and it cheered me up more than you'll ever know when you let out your darling "owwwwww." everyone around us started laughing, and the receptionist even asked for you to do it again! haha, it was pretty darn funny, and helped me know that you were okay, even if you were in tons of pain.
when we got home i tried feeding you, and surprisingly you ate. i was shocked! we played for a little bit, then i put you down for a nap. i called the pediatric dentist that jessica takes her kids to, to see if they thought you should come in today or if it would be okay to wait until tomorrow. the dentist wanted to see you right away, just to make sure that the tooth really did come all the way out and to make sure that your mouth was going to be okay. luckily dad was in bountiful and able to come home and drive us to the dentist (remember, my tire was flat). i went in to get you out of your crib, thinking you'd still be awake since i had only put you down 15 minutes earlier, but you were sound asleep. :( it broke my heart to have to wake you up.
the dentist office was clear in west valley, but the inside of it was really cute and fun, so i think it was worth the drive. :) after filling out all the paperwork, we went back to see the dentist, and all i can say is thank goodness dad was with us, because hearing you scream the way you did when dad and the dental technician pinned you down so the dentist could get a look in your mouth was a little too much for me. it was so sad, and i just felt so bad for you because you had already been through way too much today. the dentist was surprised by what a clean break the tooth made. he said he had never heard of anything like that happening before (an entire molar coming out). he wasn't too concerned about infection, and didn't even want us to come back for a follow-up appointment, so that's a good thing, i guess. they gave you a couple toys and sent us on our merry way.
looking back on this whole traumatic day, i realize how blessed we were/are, and how heavenly father's hand helped us out the whole way, from traumatizing beginning to end. things could have been so much worse. *rather than losing a tooth, you could have lost an eye or had a concussion. *rather than losing your back top molar (which no one can see), you could have lost a front tooth and looked a little silly for the next however-many-years until your permanent tooth came back in. *it was a miracle that dad answered the phone when i called him, and two more miracles that *danny answered his phone when dad called him, and that *jessica was home, her nanny was there watching her kids, so she was able to take us to instacare. *it was a huge blessing that dad was in bountiful, right when we needed to leave to make it to the dentist office before they closed. and another huge blessing that the dentist wasn't too concerned about your mouth. he did say that you had a huge cut on the inside of your mouth that could potentially scar, so we will just hope and pray that it doesn't, because the thought of your perfect little face scarring is just too much for me to think about.
words can't begin to express how terrifying this day was, my sweet boy. hopefully i'll look back on it, and realize that it wasn't as bad as i made it out to be, but for now, i am pretty traumatized. i feel so responsible, and feel so horrible that i didn't heed the prompting of the spirit when it told me to watch and make sure you didn't fall off that curb. i am so grateful that you are okay, and today was definitely one of those days where i was reminded what an angel of a boy i have. you were so unbelievably brave the entire day, and it definitely helped calm me down. i can't imagine how painful it would be to have a tooth yanked out like that, yet you've been pretty happy and content for most of the day. i feel so lucky and honored to call you my son, and know that i definitely don't deserve you. you are my pride and joy and i don't know what i would ever do without you.
love,
mom
